


Broken Boy

by Littledanceingdragons



Series: Trans Gray and a side of Gratsu Erlu [5]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Amputation, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Car Accidents, I do not have a solid guideline other than that this is gonna be finished when I think its finished, I do not know anything truly about losing a limb outside of the research I have done, I think its gonna be long, Loss of a limb, Medical Inaccuracies, Multi, Please let me know if something is wrong and or represented wrong, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Gray Fullbuster, Protective Lucy Heartfilia, Protective Natsu Dragneel, Support Animals, The Author Regrets Nothing, Traumatized, Traumatized Gray Fullbuster, Traumatized Natsu Dragneel, being ran over, it is going to be multiple chapters, protective erza scarlet, ran over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:33:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26615272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littledanceingdragons/pseuds/Littledanceingdragons
Summary: - Read the tags (seriously)- I am not kidding read the tags“ You seem sleepy. “ she smiles at him, squatting down beside the tub. He smiles at that, “ I’m always sleepy. “ Natsu snorts at that. “ That’s true. “ he agrees with his own smile. Lucy laughs and Gray catches the look of affection that crosses Natsu’s face. “ Gay. “ he states it calmly as if he just said something normal. Natsu’s cheeks go pink. “ I am bisexual thank you very much. “ he jokes, waving a hand at Gray. He laughs loudly, shattering the quiet atmosphere.“ I don’t know Natsu you are pretty gay. “ Erza muses, sitting down on the floor. Natsu groans loudly in defeat. “ I told you they would gang up on me. “ Natsu says to Lucy who snickers.He doesn’t bother to hide his laughter when Natsu rolls his eyes at him.And for once since Gray woke up, everything feels normal.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster & Lucy Heartfilia & Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragneel & Happy, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster/Lucy Heartfilia/Erza Scarlet
Series: Trans Gray and a side of Gratsu Erlu [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908853
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no regrets and no updating schedule???? go and look at my tumblr: @crystallos-sol which is where I will post updates and everything or just subscribe to the story if you have your email set up with Ao3.

Gray knows he messed up. He knows he  _ disappointed _ them. It has been a long time since his body had gotten injured in some way. It happened while he was moving some pipes for Sting. The workplace had filled with mud from the storm. He wasn't expecting to fall so hard. Gray figured he might slip but crashing hard into the ground wasn't on his to-do list. 

His head hurt so  _ badly.  _ That was the first thing Gray had registered when he finally regained consciousness. He didn't see the truck coming. Nothing got to his head but  _ the pain.  _ There was a loud noise that made his ears ring so badly. It took a moment to realize it was  _ coming from him.  _

He was screaming because a big work truck was half on him. Nothing made him puke more than the sight of his leg half twisted under the truck tire. Gray felt hands on him. He knew someone had heard him. Or maybe Blue ran to get help. A rough tongue licks his face has his breathing hitches violently. " Blue. " Gray's voice breaks and sounds so horrible it makes even him grimace. She whines at him. He half-smiles through the tears. " Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. " 

His world goes black. 

_ Do you think he's going to be okay?  _

_ I don't know. The doctors said his leg had ended up severely crushed.  _

Gray wants to tell whoever's talking to shut up. His head hurts but not has much as his leg. It's not long before he's asleep again, even with the people talking around him. 

_ I miss him.  _

_ I know Natsu, we all do.  _

Natsu? 

He wants to open his eyes and tell his boyfriend he's okay. Gray is so tired. He can't even twitch his hand but, maybe he did. Natsu cries violently as he always does. Gray wants to scream. He's never felt more powerless. 

_ Are we even making the right choice?  _

_ I don't know.  _

_ I can't lose him. I won't survive it.  _

_ Natsu is right. Gray is too important to all of us.  _

Gray finally opens his eyes. He feels exhausted. Everything hurts so badly. The effort used to turn his head is worth it. Natsu is half in his chair. His head is where Gray's leg should be. His leg. The blanket falls around where his leg should be. His breathing picks up. 

_ Where's my leg? Where's my damn leg.  _

Gray whimpers. His dog is by his side instantly. Balancing on the edge of the bed. She licks his cheek and whines loudly at him. He can  _ barely _ breathe. 

_ I lost my leg.  _

Natsu shifts in his sleep. He focuses on that, trying to center himself again. Breathing in and out, he silently calms himself down. Blue wacks his remaining leg when his hand reaches down to tear into the skin. Gray trembles but otherwise stays completely still. He lays back down, trying to shake the heavy feeling in his chest. He falls back asleep with his head facing Natsu's direction. 

_ Erza He wasn't facing that direction before.  _

_ Natsu it doesn't make it better to get our hopes up. I want him to have woken up but we have to check with the doctors.  _

_ Okay.  _

_ Gray did wake up for a few moments. He can do so again. We suggest that one of you stay here if possible. He could go into a panic attack if he sees his leg.  _

He groans. The room goes dead silent. 

" Gray? " He sounds so small and quiet. Gray grumbles but peaks an eye open. " What? " he grouches at his boyfriend. " I'm tired. " he hisses, eyes narrowing. Natsu nearly starts crying. Lucy gently pulls the man out of the way so the Doctor can check on Gray. " You have just gone through an incredibly traumatic event. " He starts, Gray just groans loudly. 

" Listen up I'm exhausted so if you have to check up on anything you better do it before I pass out. I also am completely serious when I say I don't care that I lost my leg right now. I will deal with it when everything doesn't hurt. " Gray stares the Doctor down. Surprisingly the Doctor doesn't take it personally and does his job. With a small nod to Natsu and Lucy, he exits the room when everything is looked over. Gray lays back down, aching in places he doesn’t want to be. 

Natsu is by his side afterwards immediately. His hand is in Gray’s and something in him unwinds and settles. He was tense when he didn’t even realize it. “ Promise you’ll wake up? “ Natsu’s voice is hoarse and Gray looks at him. His boyfriend has bags under his eyes with swollen cheeks that only happen when he cries. “ I promise. “ the words are easy to come by and he means them. Natsu gives him a smile filled with relief. Gray falls asleep feeling comfortable. 

_ There’s a sound that hurts his ears and Gray doesn’t know where it’s coming from.  _

_ It takes a moment for it to set in.  _

_ Oh that’s him. That horrible screaming is him.  _

_ It's him.  _

_ That was the first thing Gray had registered when he finally regained consciousness. He didn't see the truck coming. _

_ “ Gray! Gray hang in there! “ He thinks it's Sting. Their voice is frantic but Gray blacks out again.  _

_ He doesn’t know how long he’s been under the truck. Gray is sure Sting is still there. He’s more than sure. “ Ya know blue, “ he says with a half-smile, “ I didn’t think I'd live this long. “ Maybe it’s because he’s half out of it and in so much pain it reminds him.  _

Gray wakes up screaming. 

His head is throbbing but Blue is there and so is Erza. “ Hey it’s okay. It’s okay Gray. “ she soothes him, rubbing a hand through his hair. Gray doesn’t stop trying to breathe and calm down. His hands shake minutes after and Erza doesn't stop holding him close. Gray relaxes and melts into her embrace without a second thought. 

He feels so tired. 

It’s a few days afterwards that he is discharged from the hospital. His stump is wrapped up delicately in bandages. The nurse had said he needed to rub this cream into his skin to help with swelling and friction. Natsu had thanked them properly for Gray. He had managed an awkward smile and that was about it. He wanted to go home. Blue sat in the back with him and Erza. Gray frowned a little thinking about his truck. 

His phone was blown up with get well messages and his actual friends. 

**Squad**

**Grouch:** Gray you better be okay 

**Pokemon:** We weren't able to stay long but if I ever see you in the hospital again I am going to lose it 

**Eyes Emoji:** I miss you dude. You better get better. 

[500 unread messages]

  
  


**Stuck In Capitalism With Friends**

**Minerva:** I am so sorry Gray. We miss you here and we know that if you don’t come back we will still be friends. You do what is best for you and no one else. [Read More]

**Sting:** Natsu said you are doing good and you better be. You can’t leave us here and you know that. Who else will get on Rufus for mixing up numbers? Who else would be the work mom? You better be okay. [Read More]

**Rouge:** I am going to keep this short unlike those two. I am worried about you but the doctors said you are going to make a good recovery. They also said you are going to be fine and that you should be up on your feet within a week. I love you, Gray. You are like a brother to me and you know that. So wake up already. 

**Rufus:** Wake up. You are worrying us. 

He smiles a little, looking at those messages it reminds him of how many people he has to update. Frowning he goes to type out a message. 

_ Hey Jerks I am fine. I woke up because you were all being so damn loud.  _

He sends it to all of them. Gray doesn’t catch Erza smiling at him from the other side of the car. They make it home and he is tired. Natsu doesn’t let him even carry a bag. He pouts slightly as Erza picks him up and settles him down in the wheelchair Lucy got out of their trunk. The house looks almost the same. There’s a few changed things that reconfirms Gray's thoughts. He is a little irritated they all got together while he was unconscious. He actually wanted to be awake and part of the process. 

They don’t bring it up but Natsu is fiddling with Happy’s tail and Gray knows he wants to blurt it out. 

“ What? “ he asks since none of them are going to start the conversation. He rolls his eyes while Natsu bites his lip. There’s a moment of silence and Gray stares at each of them. “ I already know. “ he reveals, deciding to spare them the pain of saying it. Both girls look a little relieved before Erza opens her mouth. “ We also wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to date me and Lucy? “ she sounds small and Gray hates that. 

Lucy seems to lean against Erza to calm herself down. “ Of course. “ he snorts, not bothering to look at their expressions. “ I told you he is into you both! “ Natsu exclaims, throwing his hands up. Gray sticks his tongue out at his boyfriend. “ Stop exposing me. “ he jokes and Lucy laughs. Snickering he tries to hide the unsettling feeling in his gut.  _ Do they even really want me? Are they just trying to make this situation better? Is this a joke? Are they going to yell sike and tell me to get out?  _

Gray finds himself being lowered into the tub by Natsu a mere few minutes later. His warm hands heave his hips and he nearly whines. There’s a part of him that aches for him as it always has. This time there's an aching for two other people as well. Gray can’t force the words out of his mouth but Natsu nods at him. He sighs at the kiss Natsu presses to his forehead. Settled in the water he closes his eyes. The door opens and shuts with a soft noise. “ Is he asleep? “ Erza’s voice is soft, barely at a normal speaking level. 

Gray blinks, looking up with a simple expression. Erza stands in front of the tub and Natsu is sitting on their sink counter with Lucy. 

“ You seem sleepy. “ she smiles at him, squatting down beside the tub. He smiles at that, “ I’m always sleepy. “ Natsu snorts at that. “ That’s true. “ he agrees with his own smile. Lucy laughs and Gray catches the look of affection that crosses Natsu’s face. “ Gay. “ he states it calmly as if he just said something normal. Natsu’s cheeks go pink. “ I am bisexual thank you very much. “ he jokes, waving a hand at Gray. He laughs loudly, shattering the quiet atmosphere. 

“ I don’t know Natsu you are pretty gay. “ Erza muses, sitting down on the floor. Natsu groans loudly in defeat. “ I told you they would gang up on me. “ Natsu says to Lucy who snickers. 

When it’s finally time for Gray to get out of the tub he wobbles a little with one leg. Coming to a stop at the bed Gray is gently laid down under the covers. There is a pause, a silence he doesn't like. Without missing a beat he tugs Lucy into the bed. She falls on the sheets with a yelp. “ Gray! “ she hisses at him, forcing herself into a half sitting position. He just grins at her. “ I’m sure you want clean sheets Lucy. If you think we ever had time or remembered to clean the guest bedroom then you are wrong. “ Her face goes from shocked to disgusted. 

He doesn’t bother to hide his laughter when Natsu rolls his eyes at him. 

And for once since Gray woke up, everything feels normal. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Am I here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray is not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the tags because WOOOOOO BOOOOYYYYY

The feeling doesn’t last long. 

######  His leg, or where his leg is supposed to be, always aches with some phantom feeling. Natsu looks at him worried when he can’t force food down his throat. His head hurts sometimes and _words_ get stuck on the tip of his tongue. The doctors said it was something that happened if you hit your head hard enough. Erza is the best at working out the tension on his leg. Lucy takes him to and from physical therapy. She even stays with him, helping him hobble around. So far he has been given a model they thought would fit him better. 

Gray likes it, the model doesn’t make his leg stress out and  _ sometimes _ he can picture that his leg wasn't taken away. It's not that Gray doesn't remember how he was crushed under that trunk, he wishes he didn´t. 

The therapist they have him seeing is nice, he thinks. Gray notices how her gaze catches on his leg. Everyone stares at him and his hands shake with fear. Blue wacks at his leg without a pause. His mind whirls with the worst thoughts and his breathing is uneven just thinking about the way the outside world views him. The way he views himself. 

Gray was never one to get stuck but he finds himself picking at his hands and Blue whining at him more than once. He wasn't supposed to turn out like this. His thoughts spiral and spiral and there's  _ nothing _ Gray can do. The others don't mean to look at him the way they do but it's enough to remind him. 

_ You are not whole. You will never be whole.  _

Days blur together but Gray knows it all feels the same. It always feels the same. There's a point when Natsu grabs his shaking hands and begs. 

_ Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong?  _

**_I don´t know._ **

He slaps his warm stupidly comforting hands away while tears gather in his stubborn eyes. “ Gray. “ it's just his name. It shouldn´t make him bawl his eyes out. But it does. 

He doesn't move for a good few hours. Maybe it was minutes but he's not counting. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaa hi again

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and no I don't feel any regret about this :D


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